So part of my whininess/"being a girl" this week (aka part of the "dirty laundry") was my disgust of how out of shape I have gotten over that past 2-3 years. I have used the excuses of being married & being in grad school & being busy....blah blah blah. But we all know whining does NOTHING to help a situation (nor does making excuses), it only makes you (and sometimes those around you) more miserable, right? No one but ME can fix what I have let get outta whack. Now I know some people probably get annoyed that I feel this way, but it's all relative. Yes, I know I am too hard on myself. I have always been that way & I am afraid I may always be....unless when I ease into old age & get to a point where "I don't gave a crap!" I have a hard time believing that though, b/c although I appear to be a layed back person on the outside, I am actually a little uptight on the inside. Which probably isn't healthy. I need to let it out more, eh? I guess that's where these bloggy-blogs can help (& perhaps get some in trouble....I'll be careful of that!) So, anyway the other day when I was whining about being out-of-shape (and feeling not so healthy....my BP & heart rate has been too high lately...a little concerning for me), I THEN also said to myself, "Quit whining and do something about it! Get back into running shape." I love running. It makes me very happy. I used to be like Forest Gump...I was run-nin'! I was a little hamster running all the time. I was so in shape! I also said to myself, "Why do you get so down on yourself sometimes? There is so much to be thankful for in life. You have a wonderful husband, family, pets & friends (although wish I had more close-by friends...another thing to criticize myself about...sheesh!). You are about to graduate with a Master's degree & become a PA at the #1 cancer center in the US & work for ONE OF THE TOP liver surgeons/cancer researchers in the US (if not the world). You are going to Maui in 3 weeks! What in TAR-NATION (love that word) are you whining about, you big baby!" You love this inner dialogue don't you? Anway. Why do we, when we have so much to be thankful for, still find things to complain about? Why are we insatiable at times? Why can't we be happy with what we have? Why do I complain about my weight/shape when it really isn't that bad & there are so many worse things that could be. It's pathetic.
So I am shutting myself up this week, getting off my butt, and doing something about it.
I am so proud of myself. I have run EVERY day this week & I don't plan on stopping. I am slowly getting myself back into shape. I want to be a runner again! 4 years ago I ran a half marathon....without stopping...(b.c stopping hurt so much...remember, Jen?) AND I plan on doing that again. Maybe I can shoot for the Jan 2009 H-town 1/2 marathon???? We shall see. Baby steps.
Anyway, I will do my best to stop being a whiner and be a DOER!
I can do this! I got this!
4 comments:
I think it's hard to be happy with yourself when you are not happy with yourself.
Make sense?
I've been fighting this extra 30 to 40 pounds for a year now (can you believe I put that much on being married?!). I'm struggling. And, I hate it.
So, I completely understand this post.
I miss my old body, but I am also 4 years past our 1/2 marathon. I am 18 years past being 18 years. I am not that person anymore. I will try to become close to that as I can. I may not ever be as thin as I once was and I've come to terms with it. I am at a truce with it.
The husband has been a great supporter and keeps me motivated even when it doesn't seem to be paying off or even doing much good. As long as I am working out, running, spinning, biking, etc. it keeps me feeling "okay."
btw - WOWZER! You look hot in those pix's, girl! ! !
I do not admit nor deny that those are pics of me 6-7 years ago when I all I did or did not was work & work out, in a new town outside of Philly where I did or did not know anyone and did or did not have the life I have now.
I agree Jen. I realize I am 30 now & our bodies begin to slow down at this age (dangnabbit) & we may or may not get back to what once was...but you are right, at least trying & doing our best to be healthy makes us feel better about things.
Hubby support is always good. They love us & think we are beautiful no matter how we feel about ourselves. :) Yet another thing to be thankful for.
Thanks for your post!
Me thinks you need to be reminded of the saying..'It is what it is"..
You've posed a question/problem that millions of women around the world have asked and pondered. There really isn't a pat answer though.
Yes, we get heavier after we leave our 20's...and the shape really starts changing in our 30's along with fine lines showing up on our face....then in our 40's our stamina gets bogged down a bit more and we notice our parts aren't in their original places and then if we're lucky enough..we hit 50 like a brick wall. Menopause,ageing parents, sleep patterns change, nights get shorter and the work days longer...
We wonder what's going on..how come my body looks and acts like this but my mind hasn't caugh up??
OH....we say after many years of self doubt and endless crying jags and self punishments....I forgot..silly me....God has a sense of humor !!! I've been blessed to have the most wonderful hubby,parents,family,friends,pets,jobs,education,shelter.....It really wouldn't be fair if I had EVERYTHING I wanted would it?
What a funny God.....he cracks me up! Limits? Oh, that's it...ok, I've got it now.
Alli, we've all been there and we'll continue to go there...that's the funny part of life I guess. When our brain dries up and Dementia sets in, then the struggle will be over.
I think I'll keep the struggle for a while and laugh my way through it.
BTW---you are an amazingly strong woman and I love you very much. Every jugglie inch of you...heffer!
Thanks, TT! ;)
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