I had one of those difficult-have-to-be-strong-and-hold-in-the-tears-moments...
I had this little man (for some reason I find myself calling my patient's "my little man or my little lady" this week that I am sooo worried about.
He has this HORRIBLE tumor that is the size of at least a grapefruit in his colon and extending into his liver, abdominal wall, and small intestine. Ug. Not good. Not good. Not to mention, when he came to me he was very anemic and we had to transfuse him.
And it wasn't just the cancer that made me feel sad....
He is this simple, sweet little man from small-town Tejas. Probably very little education. He lost his job due to his trouble with his heart and now the cancer. His wife is in a wheelchair and couldn't even make it to their second appt with us. He is very worried about finances and is scared about his cancer and coming into such a big hospital in such a big city.
Then we tell him we can't do surgery. His tumor is too big and too extensive. He needs chemo and radiation. He needs to find a way to temporarily move to the Houston area to probably get several weeks of daily chemoradiation treatment. He has little money. He has pets. He has a home. His wife uses a cane and a wheelchair. He is sick, anxious, and scared.
After these weeks of treatment, then we might be able to do surgery if his tumor responds....
This is what I do everyday.
For some reason, this one hit me hard this week.
7 comments:
You have a heart ten times larger than most humans girl. That's why you're so great at this job. Me? I'd have crumbled at the thought of seeing people like this on a routine basis. But I thank God (or the Flying Spaghetti Monster) each day for wonderful people like you.
It's the simple things in life that will tug your heart strings. He's lucky to have someone like you who cares.
God bless him and his wife.
Oh my sweetie...I can't even begin to feel the heartache you must experience everyday. You are such a strong and giften young woman with a heart that was made for this. The compassion you give your 'little ladies ' and 'little men' is deffinitely one of your gifts to them.
hugs and kisses
Feel your pain kid... To have the answers but patients who can't have access to them. That's where the real segregation is, huh? Glad to see I'm not the only one struggling to keep work at work sometimes... Hopefully we can give them a reasonable amount of hope, and, if nothing else, perhaps the only smiling, caring, supportive face they may have seen in a long time. Keep it up kid!
Aww Alli! You do have a heart of gold. I know that if I were there, I'd want no one else to care for me - you are awesome.
Wow, I have no idea how you do it. That makes me so sad. :(
Thank you, all of you, for your kind words.
:)
There is a lot of good in my job, too....in surgery..we get to take tumors OUT! We just hope they don't come back...
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